El Malei Rachamim

The Hebrew is ancient and the English is not — every English version of this is a modern translator’s work, so we do not print one. Ask the funeral home, or the family’s rabbi or cantor, to chant it. They will almost always say yes, and it is theirs to lead rather than yours.

El Malei Rachamim belongs to the Eastern Ashkenazi liturgy, where it is usually recited at the graveside during the burial and at memorial services through the year, and its fixed text has a place for the name of the person who died. It is usually chanted by a hazzan, the cantor who leads the singing in a synagogue service.

The title means “God, full of mercy.” The prayer asks that the soul of the person who has died be given perfect rest beneath the wings of the divine presence, among the holy and the pure, and that their soul be bound up in the bond of life. It names the person by their Hebrew name and their parent’s name, which is why it feels so personal to the family: for a moment the whole room is asking for one particular soul to be held. It is not a eulogy and says nothing about the life that was lived. It is a request on that person’s behalf, and it ends with the hope that they rest in peace.

The memorial prayer. Ask about the Hebrew name before you plan on leading it. Read at a funeral or memorial service. Themes: memorial prayer · perfect rest · the Hebrew name · under the wings of the presence.

A Jewish funeral, an unveiling of the headstone, or a memorial service where the family keeps Jewish practice, even loosely. Families who rarely attend synagogue often still want this one prayer, because it is the sound of a Jewish funeral to them. It does not suit a secular memorial with no Jewish family present, and it is not a prayer to add because it sounds beautiful; the family should ask for it.

At the graveside it usually comes after the burial and before the Mourner’s Kaddish. At a chapel service it often closes the service before the family leaves for the cemetery. If a cantor or rabbi is present, they chant it. If none is, the funeral home can often arrange one, and a lay officiant’s job is to leave the space for it in the order and to introduce it in one sentence.

Allow about a minute and a half at a ceremony pace of about 130 words a minute, from the reader’s first word to their last.

• Before the day, ask the family for the Hebrew name and the parent’s name, written out and said aloud. Write it phonetically on your card.
• If you are handing over to a cantor, say only “We will now hear El Malei Rachamim” and step back. No explanation is needed by the people who know it.
• Expect silence afterwards, and do not fill it. The Kaddish usually follows, and the mourners need a moment to stand.

All funeral readings →