Wedding reading
Sonnet 43
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
“Sonnet 43” by Elizabeth Barrett Browning is a poem read at a wedding ceremony. It takes about a minute and a half read aloud, usually by a guest reader. It is in the public domain, so the full text is printed on this page and goes straight into a ceremony script.
The full text
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.
Public domain, so these words can be printed in a ceremony script or an order of service.
Where it comes from
In the 1851 collection Prometheus Bound, and Other Poems, the poem is printed as Sonnet 42 of the Sonnets from the Portuguese.
What it says
The poem asks a question and then answers it with a list. She loves him as far as her soul can reach, and as near as the quietest need of every day, by daylight and by candlelight. She loves him freely, the way people work for what is right, and purely, the way they turn away from praise. She loves him with the passion she once spent on old griefs and with the faith she had as a child. She loves him with a love she thought she had lost along with the people she has lost. The final line goes further than the rest: if God allows, she will love him better after death.
"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." The most requested after Sonnet 116. Read at a wedding ceremony. Themes: counting the ways · devotion · love beyond death · well known · a reader who is nervous.
Who it suits
Couples who want a poem nearly every guest has heard of, and readers who would like the reassurance of a clear structure. It suits a religious ceremony and a civil one, because the single mention of God is a hope rather than a doctrine. Because it speaks of grief and loss as well as love, it is a good choice for a second marriage or a couple who have come through something hard together.
Where it goes in the ceremony
Usually read by a friend or family member as the main poem before the vows. It can also be read by one partner to the other just before they exchange vows, as a lead-in. Pair it with a shorter, lighter piece if there are two readings.
Reading it aloud
The text on this page is 128 words. At a ceremony pace of about 130 words a minute, which is slower than conversation, that comes to about 60 seconds of reading.
- Every line that starts with “I love thee” is a fresh step. Give each one its own breath, and resist the pull to fall into a sing-song.
- The poem changes temperature in the middle, from soaring to everyday: “Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.” Bring the volume down there.
- “I shall but love thee better after death” is the landing. Slow down, and do not let your voice drop away on the last word.
Questions about reading it aloud
How long does “Sonnet 43” take to read aloud?
“Sonnet 43” takes about a minute and a half read aloud at a ceremony pace, which is slower than conversation — roughly 130 words a minute. That is the figure the run-sheet uses when it works out the timing for the whole service.
Who usually reads “Sonnet 43”?
Usually a guest reader rather than the officiant. “Sonnet 43” runs about a minute and a half, which is a manageable amount to hand to a friend or family member. Give them a printed copy of their own, in a size they can read without their glasses, and tell them where to stand and how you will introduce them.
Can “Sonnet 43” be printed in a ceremony script?
Yes. It is in the public domain, so the full text is on this page and can be printed in a script or an order of service.
Where this text was checked
Checked word for word against a full-text edition that is itself the authority — a Project Gutenberg or Wikisource transcription, a publisher’s own edition, or the issuing body’s page.
Checked
A reading is two minutes of the hour.
The rest is the welcome, the vows, the ring exchange, the pronouncement — and the timing that holds them together. Answer some questions about the couple and get the whole ceremony, written out, with this reading in its place.
Other readings that suit the same service
- Sonnet 116a minute and a halfThe other poem asked for most often, on love that will not change
- To My Dear and Loving Husband50 secondsA shorter declaration from a wife to her husband
- 1 John 4:7–12a minute and a halfA short scripture passage built on the same word, love
- Sonnet 1855 secondsWilliam Shakespeare
- The Road Not Takena minute and a halfRobert Frost
- A Red, Red Rose45 secondsRobert Burns