Funeral reading

If I Should Go Before the Rest of You

Joyce Grenfell

“If I Should Go Before the Rest of You” by Joyce Grenfell is a poem read at a funeral or memorial service. It takes about 30 seconds read aloud, usually by a guest reader. We do not reprint the words here — the note below says why, and what to bring instead.

Why the words are not printed here

Still in copyright. It is in her memoir In Pleasant Places (1979) and in the collected verse — print it from one of those. It is eight lines; give the reader the page rather than a phone.

Pieces still in copyright are listed by title and author only — we name them and tell you where to get them, but we do not reproduce the words. Public-domain text is printed in your script in full.

Where it comes from

Joyce Grenfell’s In Pleasant Places was published by Macmillan in 1979, the year she died.

What it says

In eight lines the speaker asks her friends not to make a fuss when she dies: no broken flowers, no inscribed stone, no hushed and solemn voices. She wants them to be their usual selves. She admits that weeping is natural and that parting hurts terribly, but she reminds them that life goes on, and asks them to sing as well as cry. It is gently funny and very kind, and it gives the room permission to smile.

The permission-not-to-be-sad poem. Wry rather than funny, and it steadies a room early on. Read at a funeral or memorial service. Themes: if I should go before the rest of you · permission not to be sad · weep not for me but be glad · a cheerful person · a short reading to open with · gentle rather than funny.

Who it suits

A cheerful, sociable person who would have hated a gloomy funeral, the death of a woman in her later years, and celebration-of-life services. It suits British families who know Grenfell. It may feel too light for a sudden or tragic death.

Where it goes in the ceremony

Works very well early in the service, right after the welcome, where it relaxes the room and sets the tone. It also works as a closing reading. A friend or grandchild reads it; it is short enough for anyone.

Reading it aloud

Allow about 30 seconds at a ceremony pace of about 130 words a minute, from the reader’s first word to their last.

Give the reader the printed page rather than a phone screen. At eight lines, every word must be right.
The middle admission that parting hurts is the honest center. Do not rush past it to the cheerful end.
Read the final line with a little lift. It is an instruction to the room, and a smile in the voice helps it land.

Questions about reading it aloud

How long does “If I Should Go Before the Rest of You” take to read aloud?

“If I Should Go Before the Rest of You” takes about 30 seconds read aloud at a ceremony pace, which is slower than conversation — roughly 130 words a minute. That is the figure the run-sheet uses when it works out the timing for the whole service.

Who usually reads “If I Should Go Before the Rest of You”?

Usually a guest reader rather than the officiant. “If I Should Go Before the Rest of You” runs about 30 seconds, which is a manageable amount to hand to a friend or family member. Give them a printed copy of their own, in a size they can read without their glasses, and tell them where to stand and how you will introduce them.

Can “If I Should Go Before the Rest of You” be printed in a ceremony script?

Not by us. Still in copyright. It is in her memoir In Pleasant Places (1979) and in the collected verse — print it from one of those. It is eight lines; give the reader the page rather than a phone.

A reading is two minutes of the hour.

The rest is the welcome, the life, the remembrances, the committal — and knowing what comes next. Answer some questions about them and get the whole service, written out, with this reading in its place.

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