Funeral reading
Remember
Christina Rossetti
“Remember” by Christina Rossetti is a poem read at a funeral or memorial service. It takes about 55 seconds read aloud, usually by a guest reader. It is in the public domain, so the full text is printed on this page and goes straight into a ceremony script.
The full text
Remember me when I am gone away, Gone far away into the silent land; When you can no more hold me by the hand, Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay. Remember me when no more day by day You tell me of our future that you planned: Only remember me; you understand It will be late to counsel then or pray. Yet if you should forget me for a while And afterwards remember, do not grieve: For if the darkness and corruption leave A vestige of the thoughts that once I had, Better by far you should forget and smile Than that you should remember and be sad.
Public domain, so these words can be printed in a ceremony script or an order of service.
Where it comes from
Christina Rossetti published the sonnet in Goblin Market and Other Poems in 1862.
What it says
The speaker asks to be remembered after death, once the hand-holding and the shared plans for the future have stopped. Then, after eight lines of asking, the sonnet changes its mind. If you forget me for a while and then remember, the speaker says, do not grieve over it; it is far better that you forget and smile than remember and be sad. It is a love poem that ends by letting go, and it gives the people left behind permission to be happy again without feeling they have betrayed anyone.
Ends by giving the family permission to be happy again. That is why it lands. Read at a funeral or memorial service. Themes: remember me when I am gone away · better to forget and smile than remember and be sad · permission to move on · short · a young death.
Who it suits
The death of a partner, a young person, or someone who worried about the people they would leave. It suits families where guilt about moving on is already in the air: a young widow or widower, children who will grow up. It works at both religious and secular services; the one line about prayer is passing. It is less right where the family want celebration, since its mood is tender rather than glad.
Where it goes in the ceremony
A reading in the middle of the service, or near the end so it sends people out with permission to smile. A friend, a partner or an adult child reads it more often than the officiant.
Reading it aloud
The text on this page is 111 words. At a ceremony pace of about 130 words a minute, which is slower than conversation, that comes to about 50 seconds of reading.
- It is a sonnet: fourteen lines in one breath of thought. Read to the punctuation, not to the line ends, or it turns sing-song.
- The poem turns at “Yet if you should forget me for a while”. Take a clear pause before it and change your tone, softer and warmer.
- “The darkness and corruption” is the one hard phrase. Say it evenly and move on; slowing down there makes it louder than it is.
- Land the final couplet slowly. It is the reason the family chose the poem.
Questions about reading it aloud
How long does “Remember” take to read aloud?
“Remember” takes about 55 seconds read aloud at a ceremony pace, which is slower than conversation — roughly 130 words a minute. That is the figure the run-sheet uses when it works out the timing for the whole service.
Who usually reads “Remember”?
Usually a guest reader rather than the officiant. “Remember” runs about 55 seconds, which is a manageable amount to hand to a friend or family member. Give them a printed copy of their own, in a size they can read without their glasses, and tell them where to stand and how you will introduce them.
Can “Remember” be printed in a ceremony script?
Yes. It is in the public domain, so the full text is on this page and can be printed in a script or an order of service.
Where this text was checked
Checked word for word against a full-text edition that is itself the authority — a Project Gutenberg or Wikisource transcription, a publisher’s own edition, or the issuing body’s page.
Checked
A reading is two minutes of the hour.
The rest is the welcome, the life, the remembrances, the committal — and knowing what comes next. Answer some questions about them and get the whole service, written out, with this reading in its place.
Other readings that suit the same service
- Death Is Nothing At Alltwo minutesAlso asks the family to laugh and carry on
- She Is Gone / Remember Me35 secondsA modern reading that makes the same choice between grief and gratitude
- A Birthday30 secondsRossetti in a happier key, if the family know her work
- Dirge Without Musica minute and a halfEdna St. Vincent Millay
- There Will Be Rest25 secondsSara Teasdale
- Afterglow — "I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one"30 secondsHelen Lowrie Marshall