Funeral reading
The Deacon's Masterpiece, or The One-Hoss Shay — selected stanzas
Oliver Wendell Holmes
“The Deacon's Masterpiece, or The One-Hoss Shay — selected stanzas” by Oliver Wendell Holmes is a poem read at a funeral or memorial service. It takes about 3 minutes read aloud, usually by a guest reader. It is in the public domain, so the full text is printed on this page and goes straight into a ceremony script.
The full text
Have you heard of the wonderful one-hoss shay, That was built in such a logical way It ran a hundred years to a day, And then, of a sudden, it — ah, but stay, I'll tell you what happened without delay, Scaring the parson into fits, Frightening people out of their wits, — Have you ever heard of that, I say? Now in building of chaises, I tell you what, There is always somewhere a weakest spot, — In hub, tire, felloe, in spring or thill, In panel, or crossbar, or floor, or sill, In screw, bolt, thoroughbrace, — lurking still, Find it somewhere you must and will, — Above or below, or within or without, — And that's the reason, beyond a doubt, A chaise breaks down, but doesn't wear out. Colts grew horses, beards turned gray, Deacon and deaconess dropped away, Children and grandchildren — where were they? But there stood the stout old one-hoss-shay As fresh as on Lisbon-earthquake-day! Little of all we value here Wakes on the morn of its hundredth year Without both feeling and looking queer. In fact, there's nothing that keeps its youth, So far as I know, but a tree and truth. (This is a moral that runs at large; Take it. — You're welcome. — No extra charge.) First of November, — the Earthquake-day. — There are traces of age in the one-hoss-shay, A general flavor of mild decay, But nothing local, as one may say. There couldn't be, — for the Deacon's art Had made it so like in every part That there wasn't a chance for one to start. First of November, 'Fifty-five! This morning the parson takes a drive. Now, small boys, get out of the way! Here comes the wonderful one-hoss-shay, Drawn by a rat-tailed, ewe-necked bay. "Huddup!" said the parson. — Off went they. All at once the horse stood still, Close by the meet'n'-house on the hill. — First a shiver, and then a thrill, Then something decidedly like a spill, — And the parson was sitting upon a rock, At half-past nine by the meet'n'-house clock, — Just the hour of the Earthquake shock! You see, of course, if you're not a dunce, How it went to pieces all at once, — All at once, and nothing first, — Just as bubbles do when they burst. End of the wonderful one-hoss-shay. Logic is logic. That's all I say.
Public domain, so these words can be printed in a ceremony script or an order of service.
Where it comes from
Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr. built several of his best-known poems around familiar objects, and The Deacon’s Masterpiece or The Wonderful One-Hoss Shay is one of them.
What it says
A deacon builds a one-horse carriage so carefully, with every part exactly as strong as every other, that there is no weakest spot to fail first. It runs for a hundred years to the day, while horses, owners and grandchildren come and go. Then, one morning, with the parson out for a drive, it simply comes apart all at once, like a bubble bursting, leaving him sitting on a rock. The poet adds a moral free of charge: nothing keeps its youth except a tree and truth.
A carriage built so well it lasted a hundred years and then went all at once — an allegory for a long, full life that ended suddenly. It lands wrong after a long illness or a slow decline. Read at a funeral or memorial service. Themes: the wonderful one-hoss shay · nothing that keeps its youth but a tree and truth · it went to pieces all at once · a hundred years to a day · a very long full life that ended suddenly · a craftsman, a mechanic, an engineer · wry New England humour · wrong after a long decline.
Who it suits
A long, full life that ended suddenly and cleanly: someone who was hale at ninety and gone in a day. It suits craftsmen, mechanics, engineers, carpenters and anyone who built things to last, and families with a dry, New England-style humor. It lands wrong after a long illness or slow decline, where the whole point of the poem is untrue.
Where it goes in the ceremony
At a celebration of life, or in the middle of a service after the eulogy has told the story of that long, sturdy life. A grandchild or a friend who reads with timing works best; the officiant can introduce it with one sentence about why the family chose it.
Reading it aloud
The text on this page is 404 words. At a ceremony pace of about 130 words a minute, which is slower than conversation, that comes to about 3 minutes of reading.
- It runs about three minutes. Keep the pace brisk; it is told as a yarn.
- The list of carriage parts (“hub, tire, felloe, in spring or thill”) is meant to tumble. Do not worry if the room does not know the words.
- The aside about the moral that runs at large, with “No extra charge”, is a joke to the audience. Look up for it.
- Slow down from “All at once the horse stood still” to the end, and give “Logic is logic. That’s all I say.” a flat, final delivery.
- The poem is printed here in selected stanzas. If the family know the full poem, tell them which parts are left out before the day.
Questions about reading it aloud
How long does “The Deacon's Masterpiece, or The One-Hoss Shay — selected stanzas” take to read aloud?
“The Deacon's Masterpiece, or The One-Hoss Shay — selected stanzas” takes about 3 minutes read aloud at a ceremony pace, which is slower than conversation — roughly 130 words a minute. That is the figure the run-sheet uses when it works out the timing for the whole service.
Who usually reads “The Deacon's Masterpiece, or The One-Hoss Shay — selected stanzas”?
Usually a guest reader rather than the officiant. “The Deacon's Masterpiece, or The One-Hoss Shay — selected stanzas” runs about 3 minutes, which is a manageable amount to hand to a friend or family member. Give them a printed copy of their own, in a size they can read without their glasses, and tell them where to stand and how you will introduce them.
Can “The Deacon's Masterpiece, or The One-Hoss Shay — selected stanzas” be printed in a ceremony script?
Yes. It is in the public domain, so the full text is on this page and can be printed in a script or an order of service.
Where this text was checked
Checked word for word against a full-text edition that is itself the authority — a Project Gutenberg or Wikisource transcription, a publisher’s own edition, or the issuing body’s page.
Checked
A reading is two minutes of the hour.
The rest is the welcome, the life, the remembrances, the committal — and knowing what comes next. Answer some questions about them and get the whole service, written out, with this reading in its place.
Other readings that suit the same service
- Psalm 90:1–6, 10, 12a minute and a halfThreescore years and ten, the serious version of the same thought
- A Psalm of Life — selected stanzasa minute and a halfAnother nineteenth-century poem about a life of work
- The Cremation of Sam McGee7 minutesAnother comic ballad for a celebration of life
- Remember55 secondsChristina Rossetti
- Requiem30 secondsRobert Louis Stevenson
- Crossing the Bar55 secondsAlfred, Lord Tennyson