A live performance

Whoever is performing brings their own music. Agree the cue with them directly rather than through the family, and agree what you do if they cannot finish — for a grandchild singing at their grandmother’s funeral, that is a real possibility and it is your job to have a plan.

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Someone performs live during the ceremony: a grandchild singing, a friend on guitar, a soloist, a string quartet, a piper. It is personal in a way a recording cannot be, and it is also the part of the ceremony most likely to go off-script. The officiant does not perform, but does own the timing: when the performer stands, when they start, and what happens if they cannot finish.

Someone performing live. Plan for the possibility they cannot get through it. Read at weddings and funerals alike. Themes: a grandchild singing · a piper · a soloist · live music · someone who may not get through it.

Any ceremony where a family member or friend is a musician, or where the family want something only a live performer can give. At a wedding it suits the processional, the signing or a moment between readings. At a funeral it suits a song for the person sung by someone who loved them, or a piper at a graveside. It is a risk at a funeral if the performer is very close to the person who died; ask yourself, and them, whether they will be able to get through it.

At a wedding, during the processional, the signing or the recessional, or between readings. At a funeral, after the eulogy, during a reflective pause, or at the graveside. The performer leads; the officiant introduces them, or simply sits and waits for their cue.

Allow about 4 minutes on the run-sheet, and trim it to the track or set actually chosen.

• Speak to the performer directly, not through the family. Agree the song, the length, and exactly when they start.
• Agree where they will stand and whether they need a microphone, a music stand or an instrument already in place.
• Agree what you will do if they cannot finish. For a grandchild singing at a grandparent’s funeral, this is a real possibility: you can step beside them, lead the room in finishing, or simply thank them warmly and move on.
• Introduce them briefly and by name, then sit. The performance is theirs.
• When they finish, thank them by name before you go on.

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