Wedding reading
The Impressive Clergyman’s speech — "Mawage"
William Goldman, for the 1987 film of The Princess Bride
“The Impressive Clergyman’s speech — "Mawage"” by William Goldman, for the 1987 film of The Princess Bride is a prose reading read at a wedding ceremony. It takes about a minute and a half read aloud, usually by a guest reader. It is still in copyright, so the words are not reprinted here — the reader brings a printed copy.
Why the words are not printed here
Do not recite it. The phonetic joke was written for the film — William Goldman’s screenplay, delivered by Peter Cook — and does not exist in that form in Goldman’s 1973 novel, so the book is not a workaround. Either nod to it in your own words as you open, or clear the bit with the studio. It is also two minutes of a room waiting for one gag.
Pieces still in copyright are listed by title and author only — we name them and tell you where to get them, but we do not reproduce the words. Public-domain text is printed in your script in full.
What it is about
Everyone asks. It is film dialogue, not the novel — nod to it in your own words instead.
Read at a wedding ceremony. Themes: mawage · the Impressive Clergyman · The Princess Bride · a film quotation · an officiant who wants to open with a laugh · a bit rather than a reading.
Questions about reading it aloud
How long does “The Impressive Clergyman’s speech — "Mawage"” take to read aloud?
“The Impressive Clergyman’s speech — "Mawage"” takes about a minute and a half read aloud at a ceremony pace, which is slower than conversation — roughly 130 words a minute. That is the figure the run-sheet uses when it works out the timing for the whole service.
Who usually reads “The Impressive Clergyman’s speech — "Mawage"”?
Usually a guest reader rather than the officiant. “The Impressive Clergyman’s speech — "Mawage"” runs about a minute and a half, which is a manageable amount to hand to a friend or family member. Give them a printed copy of their own, in a size they can read without their glasses, and tell them where to stand and how you will introduce them.
Can “The Impressive Clergyman’s speech — "Mawage"” be printed in a ceremony script?
Not by us. It is still in copyright, so we name it and point you at a copy rather than reprinting the words. Do not recite it. The phonetic joke was written for the film — William Goldman’s screenplay, delivered by Peter Cook — and does not exist in that form in Goldman’s 1973 novel, so the book is not a workaround. Either nod to it in your own words as you open, or clear the bit with the studio. It is also two minutes of a room waiting for one gag.
A reading is two minutes of the hour.
The rest is the welcome, the vows, the ring exchange, the pronouncement — and the timing that holds them together. Answer some questions about the couple and get the whole ceremony, written out, with this reading in its place.
Other readings that suit the same service
- On Marriage, from The Propheta minute and a halfKahlil Gibran
- On Becoming Real, from The Velveteen Rabbit55 secondsMargery Williams
- from Extracts from Adam's Diary — selected entriesa minute and a halfMark Twain
- from The Importance of Being Earnest, Act Itwo minutesOscar Wilde
- On marriage, from The Devil's Dictionary — five definitionsa minute and a halfAmbrose Bierce
- Uniona minute and a halfRobert Fulghum