Wedding reading

How Falling in Love Is Like Owning a Dog

Taylor Mali

“How Falling in Love Is Like Owning a Dog” by Taylor Mali is a poem read at a wedding ceremony. It takes about 3 minutes read aloud, usually by a guest reader. We do not reprint the words here — the note below says why, and what to bring instead.

Why the words are not printed here

Still in copyright. Mali wrote it in 1998 for a friend’s wedding and collected it in What Learning Leaves — print it from there or from his own site, and note the title is often shortened to "Falling in Love Is Like Owning a Dog", which is not what he called it. It is spoken-word, so give the reader time with it.

Pieces still in copyright are listed by title and author only — we name them and tell you where to get them, but we do not reproduce the words. Public-domain text is printed in your script in full.

Where it comes from

Taylor Mali is an American slam poet whose National Poetry Slam teams won four times, and What Learning Leaves is among his books.

What it says

Mali builds the whole poem on one comparison, falling in love and getting a dog, and runs it for laughs: the urge to show it off to everyone, the mess, the chewed belongings, the sleepless early nights, the way it takes over the house and the budget. Then, as the comparisons pile up, the poem shifts. Loyalty, forgiveness and the long years of companionship come in, and the jokes give way to something unexpectedly moving. It is a spoken-word piece, built for an audience, and it rewards a reader who can perform a little.

The dog one. Several minutes long, and it earns them — but your reader needs to rehearse it. Read at a wedding ceremony. Themes: falling in love is like owning a dog · spoken word · dog people · funny and then unexpectedly moving · a long reading · a modern favorite.

Who it suits

Dog people, couples who want laughter in the ceremony, and relaxed or outdoor weddings. It is a good fit when a confident, funny friend wants to read. At around three minutes it is long, and for a formal religious service or a very short ceremony it may be too much.

Where it goes in the ceremony

Works as a lighter reading after a more serious one, or as the main reading in a relaxed ceremony. Read by a friend who enjoys an audience, often the one who introduced the couple.

Reading it aloud

Allow about 3 minutes at a ceremony pace of about 130 words a minute, from the reader’s first word to their last.

Rehearse it several times out loud. It is spoken word and lives on timing; a reader who has only read it silently will rush the laughs.
Wait for the laughter to fade before the next line. Talking over it buries the next joke.
Drop the pace and volume for the closing turn. The change in tone is what makes it land.

Questions about reading it aloud

How long does “How Falling in Love Is Like Owning a Dog” take to read aloud?

“How Falling in Love Is Like Owning a Dog” takes about 3 minutes read aloud at a ceremony pace, which is slower than conversation — roughly 130 words a minute. That is the figure the run-sheet uses when it works out the timing for the whole service.

Who usually reads “How Falling in Love Is Like Owning a Dog”?

Usually a guest reader rather than the officiant. “How Falling in Love Is Like Owning a Dog” runs about 3 minutes, which is a manageable amount to hand to a friend or family member. Give them a printed copy of their own, in a size they can read without their glasses, and tell them where to stand and how you will introduce them.

Can “How Falling in Love Is Like Owning a Dog” be printed in a ceremony script?

Not by us. Still in copyright. Mali wrote it in 1998 for a friend’s wedding and collected it in What Learning Leaves — print it from there or from his own site, and note the title is often shortened to "Falling in Love Is Like Owning a Dog", which is not what he called it. It is spoken-word, so give the reader time with it.

A reading is two minutes of the hour.

The rest is the welcome, the vows, the ring exchange, the pronouncement — and the timing that holds them together. Answer some questions about the couple and get the whole ceremony, written out, with this reading in its place.

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